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Ask Dr. Bev

HM readers ask Beverly Dolenz Walsh, Ph.D. parenting questions regarding their children, “tweens” and teenagers in this column. Thank you, Dr. Bev, for providing such great information!

Getting a Positive Body Image!

Q: With increasing negative pressure from society to have the 'right' look, shape or size in our appearance, how can we help our children, especially our girls, learn to love their bodies and not get caught up in the hype? I am concerned as my daughter is already talking about dieting, and she's not even out of elementary school yet!

A: Great concern! I doesn’t take a Ph.D. in Psychology to recognize the negative impact the cultural focus on body size can take on a developing girl’s self-esteem, not too mention her mom’s. Look around and see the magazine models and TV personalities who look “perfect”, the prevalence of “fat free” foods and diet everything.

Research suggests that about one percent (1%) of female adolescents, age 13 to 20, have anorexia and about four percent (4%) of college-aged women have bulimia. When asked about “satisfaction with your body”, about 80% of women reported they were dissatisfied with their body. Wow!

How to conquer this negative pressure to have the “right look”? As with most things, the answer starts at home. Some things to notice:

How are foods talked about in your home? “Good, bad, or cheating” foods versus “healthy, unhealthy, one-serving, two-serving” foods.
How are body size and satisfaction talked about? “I feel fat” (which is not a feeling), “I wish I were thinner” versus “I want to be healthier” or “I want to walk up the stairs without breathing hard”.
What are the first things you say about a person? Are they pretty and thin? Or smart and friendly?

Finally, talk with your daughter about how media images are not always what they seem—think Photoshop and Airbrushing. Dove has a great mini-video that illustrates this called “Evolution”. Show your daughter a healthy relationship with food and her body. We are whole when we consider our Mind, Body, and Spirit.

For more information: Contact Beverly Dolenz Walsh, Ph.D., Psychologist & Professional Life and Family Coach, office: 281-893-4111 x174, cell: 713-540-1528 , fax: 281-893-8082. Also check out Dr. Bev’s blog: http://ParentTalkingTips.blogspot.com/